False Start

An unproductive January.

At the start of the month I tried and failed to set a goal that I felt was achievable for January, eventually just ending up with one seemingly easy, seemingly attainable goal of posting a substack before the end of the month. A strait forward goal that grew increasingly difficult as the month wore on.

Photo by T on Unsplash

Now as I sit here, on the last day of January 2025, peeking over into February, wondering what I won’t get done in the month ahead, I figure I’ll give it one last try.

Since it’s been a minute, let’s do a personal-ish update. I only just realized it’s been four months since my last post. (Oof Baboof)

• Not so Social Media

  At some point last year I took all social media off my phone. I would only check it from my desktop. While it was an adjustment at first, often picking up my phone to mindlessly open the app before I even realized what I was doing, only to find the app was not there and coming back to my sense, I gained a lot of time back into my day from that. Over time I started to forget to check it on my computer and basically only remember it’s there when a friend mentioned the sent me something there.

  I have been very lucky to have gained so many great connections through Instagram and the writing community there. But there came a point of diminishing returns between how much time it consumed and what it sometimes did to my mental health.

  Twitter/X I never spent much time on the begin with and have since deactivated my account.

• Them’s the Breaks

  After querying for the first half of 2024 (with little responses) life got pretty busy and overwhelming. Since I happen to find querying overwhelming at the best of times, I decided to take a break while life got a bit more sorted out.

  Speaking of life being busy and overwhelming, I also put a pin in the revision of another novel. Are you noticing a theme? I needed a break. Or maybe I didn’t NEED it but I sure as heck took one.

• Consequences

  Now it’s the end of January and I spent it, and really the month of December as well, trying to get back on the horse, or in my case maybe it’s just a donkey. And let’s be real...

  

  Life stuff is still not what I would consider “sorted out” and really probably never will be, because that is how life is… it just keeps happening, which is a good thing but in other ways a real bummer.

  I know I just need to write anyway, work anyway, do the things! Easy to say but has been hard to do. Starting again after such a long break is difficult, and in many ways has me kicking myself for taking it at all. But we can only move forward.

• February

  I am hopeful next month I’ll find some flow, some focus, some way to fill my creative energy cup, or maybe pour it out? I’m not sure, the analogy is a bit fuzzy.

  I have some ideas I am excited to talk about here, books, shows, etc. So now I just need to get my thoughts organized and down in some mildly coherent way. Now, if I could just get started.

"The best way out, is always through."
— Robert Frost

“And the only good way through, is together,'“
— John Green